Like ice cream

I love him like I love ice cream
I know before hand that it's not good for me.
I know I'll regret it later
I know that it will hurt in the end, but I want him still.

I love him like ice cream.
While I have him it seems amazing
While it last it's incredible
It's heaven on earth or so it seems
That's why I love him like ice cream

My love is ice cream
It is a one sided desire
It melts my heart as time pass leaving only stains
In the end I'm the only one sick

Yes my love is like ice cream
Cold yet desirable
Dream like and brief
Something that no one actually can keep
My love makes me sick like ice cream

Yet I can't give it up.
Maybe I'll find someone to love who isn't ice cream
So I won't feel sick at the end of the day
So I won't need ice cream
So I won't hurt.

For now...my love is ice cream.

What it is

Life isn't always easy, but we have to be grateful for what it is. I've never really considered myself a lucky person, but today I'm taking time to say I am. I am grateful for what I have: a loving family, insane and loyal friends, someone to talk to when I'm stressed or bored, people I can be honest with without the fear of judgement, a roof over my head, running power, clean water, and food. I am blessed by God and I am thankful.  Too often I forget how good I have it. As someone who suffers from depression those bouts are common, but give me rain and rest and a whole new world is open. So today I will be thankful, and I will happy. Count your blessing and cheer up. It could be worse, so let's be thankful it isn't.

Back

I'm back!!! When I say back I mean back. No more coming and going without any post on this blog. Reason? I'm not a high schooler anymore and I want documentation of my life. This isn't about being popular or having people pay attention to what I say. This is about having a place to speak my mind. So here's to the internet and free blog sites!

Since my last post I have mended a broken heart, graduated with honors, started at an all girl college, and continued my yet to be finished books.

Finals, Finished, and Fiends

I finished my IB test, but I still have a month left in the scool year. I love my school, and I'm going to miss my friends, but I am so done with the drama. People we're about to go to college. Some of us are responsible for paying for that. Some of these people are already parents. It is time for everyone to grow up, and stop being petty. High school is over and it is time for all of us to be a bit more mature. I won't be saying good-bye to being a kid anytime soon (because let's face it it's fun), but I do know when it is time to stop being childish and act my age.

Stress

Okay anyone who has taken IB or AP or honors (okay anyone whose been a senior really) knows how important it is to actually study for your exams. For some weird reason I just can't seem to buckle down and do it. I'll spend about thirty minutes going over information before I get completely stressed out and cave to the temptation known as the internet.

I really need to stud though so bye-bye. post again soon.

Coffee Shop

I love my friends. Sitting in Dunkin Doughnuts with Als trying to study, but it became a vent session. Letting of some steam is just as important sometimes :). Two weeks til D-Day. Fingers crossed and prayers sent. Hoping that my exams go well.

Moments

You know that moment in which everything hits you again  Well that what happened to me after a great night a letter m mom received brought me back to earth. It was from the lawyers talking about my dad's trail. My father hadn't done anything wrong. It was an accident that killed my father, but that does not mean this company should not be held responsible. I wanted them to admit this was a mistake. Admit that they made me lose one of life's most precious treasures, but they won't. Instead there is only a lawyer asking me question to prove I haven't lost anything. Let me tell you what I've lost.

I lost that moment in which you discover that despite being a teenager your daddy's little girl. I missed that moment when you tell your first boyfriend he has to meet your dad. I missed telling my dad about this great guys, and knowing that even as I'm raving about him my dad won't think he's good enough. I missed talking about book over breakfast everyday. I missed learning the recipe to the chili that could fix the worst day. I missed the first driving lessons. I missed the first time you break curfew, or dyed you hair.
I have lost that moment in which everything in the world is prefect. I lost that feeling only a dad can give. I lost a bit of me, that no one can give back.

I want we sorry. I want them to acknowledge that something was lost. Something so special and unique that it help create four extremely unique individuals  Someone who has touched countless lives was taken, and that was a great loss to everyone, because we are all interlinked. That one person could be the saving grace of countless others.

Back

I'm back been busy, but now I'm back. So update on my life. Guy I liked for the past two years? Dating my friend. Started after I left for vacation with my family last summer. Other guy I liked still in a happy relationship. Books I was writing New- 2/3 done, Never Say Never- not even near middle, Servant Girl- 3 chapters, One poem book down, 5 songs written, and I started a short story which will be finished by month's end.
Funny thing is I never considered myself a writer. Check out my story and see what you think.

New beginnings

http://cloudcuckoo.co.uk/jonthrower/improv_ex.htm

So I'm not quite sure what the is anymore but it looks like I forgot to post it so here.